How does it not embarrass the people of Toronto that people like Marco Polo & Drake (and many others, a quick google search will reveal) had to leave The Screwface Capital to achieve their success?  Nothing is ever good enough for the people of Toronto.  They're too busy stabbing each other in the back to actually support and cultivate a real music scene.  But if someone from the GTA makes it big stateside, suddenly there's all this patriotic, "I knew him when" support flooding across the 49th parallel (yeah, you "knew him when" and didn't give him an lick of support at the risk of seeming uncool or, worse still, having him succeed where you have not, you petty fucks).

Torontonians won't support the Buffalo Bills in Toronto campaign because they feel much too important to have to cheer for someone else's team, when Toronto is already the \'greatest city in the world\' and deserves its own squad.  Funnily enough, their lack of passion and NFL knowledge during this Bills promotion is going to be one of  the main reasons Toronto never gets an NFL team.

One just has to listen to a half-dozen callers on the Toronto-based sports radio station The Fan 590  to realise that the people of TO think they live in a great sports city.  They would be a great sports city, too, if they weren't completely uneducated in the likes of MLB, NBA and NFL, while being apathetic towards the CFL.  But there's always the Leafs, right?  Toronto will always be Maple Leafs territory... but when it comes to the NHL (not hockey as a whole, just the Maple Leafs, because Lord knows Toronto gives ZERO support to Toronto Major Junior or Minor League hockey) the arena is full of sushi-eating businessmen who don't make a sound all game.

I was at the ACC when Mike James returned to play his first game in Toronto after leaving via free-agency in the offseason prior (after the Raptors management has decided NOT to re-sign him, it was not a case of James bolting Canada), and the fucking idiot fans booed the hell out of him every time he touched the ball.  Why?  He had played his heart out for the Raptors in the previous season, had a career year for them, and management did not want him back.  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  What in the hell message is that sending to the athletes who play here?

I was also at the Rogers Centre when Alex Rios made his return to Toronto, and the fans in the stadium (all ten of them) booed poor Alex every time he made a catch or went up to bat.  For those of you who don't know, Rios didn't want to leave Toronto, he had recently signed a long-term extension and bought a home here.  He was let go by Jays management on waivers because he was slumping and they didn't want to pay him the money they owed.  Let it be known that Rios has beaten the Blue Jays senseless this year and has been putting up All-Star quality numbers for his new team.  Suck it you fairweather fuckers.

Newsflash to the people of Toronto: NOTHING OF ANY CULTURAL SIGNIFICANCE HAS EVER HAPPENED IN YOUR CITY.  Yes Toronto has great food, is extremely multi-cultural, has great shopping and is a big stop for all major musical acts and stage shows.  I love being in Toronto as much as possible, but the people of the GTA are - on the whole - worthless, mindless sheep.

Lebron James wants to be like Michael Jordan.  He wants to be the most recognizable face in the world, like Jordan once was.  He wants his name to be a billion-dollar brand, like Jordan's name is.  He wants people to aspire to be like him, like people have aspired to "Be Like Mike" for decades.  He wants to be a celebrity whose very presence dominates a room the minute he enters it, like Jordan is.  Oh yeah, and if he can be a great basketball player that'd be cool too I guess, but only if it doesn't get in the way of him being a celebrity.

LBJ will never win a championship until he realises that MJ was a great, dominant, transcendent basketball star FIRST, then became a mogul AFTER.  If LBJ doesn't become a ball player first and a celebrity second, he'll never hold the Larry O'Brien trophy, and at the end of his career he won't Be Like Mike, he'll be like Karl Malone and Patrick Ewing... only with a better publicist.

If Lebron James signs with the Knicks this July, he will be announcing to the world that his goal is not to be a legendary basketball player, but rather to be a celebrity and a businessman.